Girl: Need To Pee

Girl, I need to pee. Have a horror story or a heroic bathroom find? Drop it in the comments. Solidarity, sisters.

Let’s talk about something we don’t discuss enough at brunch. Something that lives in the shadows between the mimosas and the group photos. Something that every woman, from the boardroom to the backcountry, knows intimately.

You’re home. You drop your purse, your shopping bags, and your dignity on the floor. You fumble with the keys like you’re defusing a bomb. The dog is barking. The phone is ringing. None of it matters. You make a beeline for the bathroom, shedding a coat and a scarf like a snake shedding skin. girl need to pee

You’re now in the checkout line. The line is moving slower than molasses. The ping has become a polite knock. You start calculating: How long is the drive home? 12 minutes. Plus unloading the car? 2 minutes. Plus taking off my coat and shoes? 1 minute. You decide you have exactly 15 minutes of runway left. You’re wrong.

You’re driving. You hit a pothole. You regret every life choice that led you to that 24-ounce soda. You turn the radio off because the bass vibrations are now a personal threat. You consider pulling over at a gas station, but the last time you did that, the floor was wet and the toilet paper dispenser was empty. You clench. You pray to the traffic gods for a green light. Girl, I need to pee

And if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been writing this for twenty minutes, and I’ve had three cups of tea.

The Universal Truth: That “Girl, I Need to Pee” Moment (And Why It’s a Lifestyle) Solidarity, sisters

Sarah