She snapped the tape measure shut.
She never touched me. Not once. She just… supervised . From an armchair. With a clipboard. mama fiona – your stepmom is a size queen
Inside? Not tools. A measuring tape. A digital caliper. And a laminated, color-coded chart. It wasn't for lumber, man. It was a… girth and length compatibility matrix . Hand-drawn. With categories labeled: “Disappointing,” “Adequate,” “Promising,” “The Goldilocks Zone,” and at the very bottom, “Call an Ambulance, But Not For Me.” She snapped the tape measure shut