The infected don’t bite. They’re worse. They dab. Violently. Their joints hyperextend, and each dab releases a shockwave of compressed Mountain Dew vapor. Highly acidic. Highly radical .
Safe zones are gone. The last radio broadcast came from a bunker in Nevada: “They’ve started building towers . Tower of Pimps. Made of scrap metal and human bones. They’re guarding them with modified Nerf guns that fire bullets.”
He whispers: “Pwned.”
By morning, he’d constructed a pair of oversized sunglasses out of shattered monitor glass and declared himself “xX_NoScope_King_Xx.” Then he sneezed. The sneeze wasn’t a sneeze. It was a . Three decibels shy of lethal.
The first case was a kid in Ohio. He opened a spam email titled “UR FREE MLG HAT TF2.” Attached was a file: Illuminati_Confirmed.exe . He double-clicked. mlg virus
One of them spots me. He pulls out a foam finger. The finger is on fire.
It started in the memes. That’s what nobody wants to admit. We thought it was a joke. A parody. A bad edit from 2014. The infected don’t bite
If you find this log… don’t cry for me.