Mutha Magazine Author Z ✦ Original & Quick

Motherhood, I’m learning, isn’t about balance. It’s about learning to live in the wreckage and finding that the wreckage is actually just a very messy, very loud, very beautiful new kind of home.

That’s the secret they put in the fine print. The postpartum period isn’t just sleep deprivation. It’s a hostile takeover of your psyche. You become a vessel for someone else’s needs so completely that when someone asks, “And how are you doing?” you have to pause for ten seconds to remember if you’re a person who has preferences. mutha magazine author z

And I am slowly, painstakingly, buying back a few pieces of my old furniture. I read one chapter of a book last week. I wore jeans with a zipper for three hours. It felt like armor. Motherhood, I’m learning, isn’t about balance

In the first six months, I watched the furniture of my former self get sold off piece by piece. First went the ability to read a book for more than three consecutive minutes. Auctioned. Then went the memory of what it felt like to be bored—that luxurious, lazy Saturday afternoon boredom. Gone. Finally, the big items: my professional ambition, my sense of humor about my own body, and the quiet belief that I was fundamentally in control of my life. The postpartum period isn’t just sleep deprivation

I was wrong. Motherhood isn’t an addition. It’s a liquidation.

Since I don't know your specific story or angle, I have drafted a sample personal essay in the signature Mutha voice: honest, visceral, and unromanticized. I've credited it to . Title: The Liquidation of Self: What No One Tells You About the First Year