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(patting his back) There, there. Disappointment is just hope with better lighting.
I just want her to see me as a person.
She walks away. Ron’s face does something terrifying: genuine sadness. He takes a deep breath, then picks up a pickle. He eats it. Solemnly.
Mr. Pollard? Holy shit. You still… do this?
Henry’s soul visibly curdles.
The gender-reveal-adjacent moment arrives. The influencer couple, Piper and Pax, release a dozen drones carrying a banner. It reads: The crowd cheers. The dog in the cape bites a cater-waiter.
(knitting a tiny sweater for a guinea pig she’s decided is dying) I once did a bat mitzvah for a girl named Piper. She told me my smile was “performative.” I cried in the walk-in freezer. Best lox I ever had.
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